dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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