Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I want her autograph on my taint
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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