Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
