Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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