sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
