stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wish i was in the wii world.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
