God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Dicks are not precious.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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