So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
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i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
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If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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