chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it's like iHOP with fire
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
