i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
