Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
