Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
