oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
