Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
