Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
