there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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