I am in a vortex of obligation.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
