I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
a search helicopter?!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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