Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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