I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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