physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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