She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize