what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
