apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
