Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
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I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
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I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize