Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
