Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
