i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
