Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
