I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You were trust falling into bushes
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
