i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
