This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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