Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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