So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
