My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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