It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
