Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
