highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize