If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
