Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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