I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
