You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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