And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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