Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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