It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
