You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
