I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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