I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
