I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
