There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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