Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize