I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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