I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
