You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
