But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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