Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
