I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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