What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
