Just fell off a train. Bad.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
