Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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