i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The feeling are messing with the penis
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
