That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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