how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
