This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The beers last night were like the tears from god
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
