I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
