you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
