Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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