As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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