i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
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is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
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All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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