Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
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So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
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I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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